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Santa: I saw your Facebook page. Nothing for you whore
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It's monday. I'm refreshed and ready to hate my job
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Bluntcard.com
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Whatever we do, wherever we go, we're always shit balls drunk
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I'm trapped in this horrible little town
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Let's be drunk all day okay
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Stunning fantastic and perfect. But enough about me
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Let's do lunch and a day of shoplifting
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Cougar no seacow kinda
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My vagina is currently out of service due to its lack of use. disrepair condemned until further...
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Halloween cat will make a doodoo under your bed so spooky
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Happy Halloween Skankenstein
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I am one well trained, miserable bitch
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Thinking of you. Poison.
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Happy holidays. Let me send that whore some kind of holiday greeting
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Sometimes I go to walmart and laugh at regular people
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If I act like a bitch this Thanksgiving, it's because I'm a bitch
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I hope you choke on your lunch so you can't tweet about it later
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Someone suggested I be on plurk and I said I'm already on Klenopin and Thorazine
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I have a busy day of returning your gifts
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You make me wish my liver would shut down
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You should be arrested for drunk dressing
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Bluntcard.com
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I'm insincerely thrilled by your mundane news
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I have found that pretty much everyone you meet is phony
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Senator when can I read your latest excessive anti-gay legistlative proposal. After our bath
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I enjoy looking at pictures of me
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Hey Valentine. I love you almost as much as I love myself
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I'm the mood for the box of wine
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Sick of being you? Be someone else today.
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Sick of being you? Be someone else today. Is your favorite not here ...
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If by bipolar you mean full time bitch, then yes you are